Mindsets: It’s a choice!

Mindsets: It’s a choice!

When problems need to be solved, the mindset you hold towards those involved can be the difference between strengthening or weakening a relationship. In this issue of Negotiation Insights we highlight the importance of choosing a constructive mindset.

On April 4th 2016 the Courier Mail reported that Neil Henry, the NRL Gold Coast Titans’ coach, “has introduced brutal honesty sessions after creating a leadership group to bring accountability”.

So what can business learn from honesty sessions in sport?

For a start, honesty sessions can move those involved from a destructive mindset that attributes blame to a more positive mindset by asking, “What is my contribution to the problem?”.

Because apportioning blame makes us feel less guilty, it can be the easier choice. However apportioning blame causes us to look backwards and possibly miss an opportunity for personal growth. In addition, it places unnecessary strains on relationships because unhelpful behaviours surface, which can include impatience, sarcasm, a focus on differences, and the erosion of trust that occurs when information is withheld.

In contrast, choosing to consider how you might be contributing to the problem can create feelings of empowerment because it encourages you to identify new ways to influence and problem solve, and doing so enables better outcomes, stronger relationships and unexpected personal growth.

So next time your leadership team is confronting a major problem or is having relationship difficulties, it might be worth considering improving the group’s mindset and accountability by holding an honesty session!

Self-coaching tips

  • Create learning opportunities by asking for feedback about how the other person interpreted your attitude and behaviors
  • Create reflection time to increase your situational awareness of how you might change the influencing process
  • Think and act in the relationship’s long-term interests by building the common ground that brings you together


Avoiding Buyer's Remorse: Knowing when to close

Breaking Deadlocks: AFL resolves stalemate

Changing Perceptions: Shane Warne recalls advice

Collaborating to Create Value: Power to the people

Coping Strategies: Managing difficult Negotiators

Creating Alternatives: Flying fresh milk to China

Creating Points of Influence: Russell Crowe gets his leading lady

Cultural Differences: SONY Walkman designed for harmony

Defining Fairness: US German trade negotiations

Difficult Conversations: Thalidomide sufferers seek empathy

Elon Musk: When to negotiate

Engaging the Enemy: US and Taliban peace talks

Finding Common Ground: US Firearm reforms

Gun Tragedies: We hear you

Hostage Negotiations: A frontline perspective

Identity Needs: Tobacco now a nobody

Influencing Timelines: The brave new world of regulators

In Focus: Black Friday Negotiation Strategies

In Focus: Negotiating Roles

In Focus: Winning Together

Leadership Without Authority: Reducing domestic violence

Managing COVID-19 Renegotiations

Managing Power Imbalances

Managing Uncertainty: New freeway gets a red light

Measuring Negotiation Costs

Mindsets: It’s a choice!

Negotiating Teams & Coalitions

Negotiating with Agents

Negotiation Preparation: Prime Minster wins election

Negotiation Styles: Managing aggressive behaviours

Price Haggling: Strategies to position value

Problem Solving: Calm in the cockpit

Problem Solving: Delivering outcomes

Restoring Relationships: Saying sorry

Setting the Scene: Automotive executives fly into a storm

Shaping Mindsets: AVIS We try harder

Taylor Swift: Giving others a voice

The Authentic Negotiator

The Power of Language: A statement or a question?

Timing Concessions: Bangladesh factory tragedy

Traits of Skilled Negotiators: Nelson Mandela

Verifying Trust: World soccer cup and gulf of Mexico oil spill